Don't Deserve You
by NeverGiveUpOnEmison
Summary: Alison felt like she didn't deserve that. She didn't deserve to be alive. She didn't deserve to be forgiven. She didn't deserve to be loved... My story from Wattpad ("improved" version, though). 6 chapters of Emison
1. Call Her

**Call Her**

 _You're_ _the_ _first_ _face_ _that_ _I_ _see,_

 _And_ _the_ _last_ _thing_ _I_ _think_ _about._

Emily's POV

"Emily! Earth calling!" Spencer called me and snapped her fingers in front of my face. I raised my head from the table and glanced at her angrily.

"What?" I asked with impatient voice.

"What do you think about my plan?" she raised her eyebrows questioning. I just stared at her blankly. Spencer sighed frustrated.

"My plan to catch A?" she stated even more impatiently than me. _Wow,_ I thought sarcastically. _You win, girl._

"No, absolutely not", I stated shaking my head. Spencer sighed and leaned back on her seat.

"Em, just think about it", Hanna said from the other side of the table.

"That might be our only chance", Aria joined the conversation.

"I said _no._ Okay? We're not putting Ali in danger like that again –ever", I was seriously getting tired of their plans. They never worked and for some reason, they always put Ali in danger.

"She doesn't even have to do anything. She just needs go somewhere by herself", Spencer explained.

"And we'll be following her the whole time. We'll be ready when A shows up", Hanna added quickly.

"Yeah, and that worked so well the last time", I said sarcastically.

Everyone around the table went quiet. They all remembered way too well what had happened the last time they had tried that. The faces chilling creepers in New York was still fresh in everyone's minds. _Good._

"We'll be more careful this time", Spencer said but she didn't sound very convincing.

"No", I said emphatically."We are never putting Ali in danger like that. Never again, you hear me?"

It was quiet again. Even Hanna didn't know what to say. Aria twiddled the ring on her index finger. Hanna kept glancing around nervously. Spencer just looked down on her lap.

"So, we all agree? Good, because I'm leaving", I stood up and grabbed my bag from the floor.

"Wait, Em. You don't have to go", Spencer grabbed my arm and looked me begging in the eyes.

"I have to go. My mom's waiting me for dinner", I said and shook her hand off.

Without letting them say anything I turned and walked out of the Brew. The cold air hit me as I stepped out of the door. I wrapped my jacket tighter around me. It was pretty dark outside. I didn't know how long we had been at the Brew. Maybe few hours. We had called Ali to come with us too but she had to be with his dad today. Now that Kenneth got his daughter back he wanted spend time with her as much as possible.

I walked to my car which was parked on the other side of the road. There was no traffic and there were only few cars besides our cars. I walked to mine and unlocked the doors. I sat on the driver's seat and started the car. After I did that I rested my back against the seat.

I couldn't believe they had even thought about using Ali as bait. Didn't they learn from the last time? And I seriously thought that Spencer was the smart one. I pushed the others away from my mind.

My thoughts traded back to what I had been thinking before Spencer had brought me back to reality. The first time I had seen Alison. I remembered when I saw her walking to the Rosewood Day. It was the first day at school about five years ago. I was standing at the hall my back against the lockers. I had been thinking about the swim practice which was held later that day. Then she walked in. I didn't know why but instantly my attention focused on her. It was like a magnet would have drawn my attention.

She was like a shining light in the middle of darkness. Her confidence was something I had never seen. She didn't look around as she walked. Why would she have? In my eyes there was no one else in the hall. All I could see was her. But when she walked past me she glanced at me and smiled. That made my heart flatter. Then she looked away without knowing how she had made me feel. Or maybe she had. Well, I'll probably never know.

I took my phone from the bag and dialed Alison's number. I hesitated. _I_ _need_ _to_ _call_ _to_ _Alison._ But why? There's no way we're actually going to carry through the plan. Why would Ali even need to know about it? I put my phone back to the bag and breathed out slowly. Since Ali had told us about Noel, things have been getting weirder and weirder. It was weird to be in the same room with her. Well, in my case that wasn't because of her keeping secrets...

I heard a knock on the window. I jumped up startled but relaxed when I saw Toby. I lowered the window.

"Hey, Em, what are you doing here?" he asked smiling.

"Nothing much. I was at the Brew with the others. I was not really feeling well so I figured that it would be better for me to go home", I smiled at him. It was nice talking to Toby. I mean, we hadn't really talked properly for a while.

"Is Spence there too?"

I nodded.

"How's your leg?" I asked remembering how Toby had run to the burning house.

"It's all good. It was nothing big, a sprained ankle. I just need to take it easy for few weeks but then it should be fine", he glanced down at his leg.

I smiled. "Well, that's good to hear. I heard that you're going to join the police forces", I looked at him worried."Is that true?"

"Well, I'll do anything to keep Spencer safe. If that involves having a badge and a uniform then that's not so bad", he grinned and glanced at his watch."You've better go home to rest."

I nodded. We said quick goodbyes and he headed to the Brew. I closed the window and slowly drown off the parking lot. I wasn't going home. I really had to go meet someone...

…...

Ali's POV

I lay on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I was holding my phone on my right hand. Just one touch and it would call straight to Emily. Why was it so hard? Things had been weird between us after that kiss and I really didn't know what she thought about me. I really wanted to meet her but I just couldn't. I _needed_ to talk to her. Not just about the kiss. About everything.

I glanced once again at the phone once again. _Call_ _her,_ _you_ _coward,_ I told to myself. _Just_ _call_ _her_ _and_ _say_ _what_ _you_ _have_ _to_ _say._ But once again I let my hand fall down on my stomach. I glanced at the clock. It was 7.30. I wondered if the girls were still at the Brew.

I closed my eyes. My mind traveled back to the night when we kissed. I thought about Emily. Her voice when she asked was I asleep. I remembered myself hesitating before I rolled over to look at her. Her beautiful eyes. Her beautiful, kissable lips. I could almost feel them on mine. I could almost feel her hand on my cheek. My eyes flashed open. _Don't think about that. That will never happen again._ But I had to admit that I wanted it to happen again.

I sat on the edge of the bed. I had to meet her. I had to talk to her. I _needed_ to. I stood up and grabbed my phone from the bed. I ran to the front door. My dad wasn't home anymore. He had had to go to work with short notice so I was alone at the house. I took the keys from the table. I glanced at the room one more time before I put my hand on the handle and opened the door. I didn't watch where I was going and I pumped straight into someone. I heard a girl gasp and I felt her stumbling further from me.

"I'm sorry-" I started but stopped when I saw who it was. "E-Emily."

"Ali, hi", she said quietly. Her hand was raised for a knock but now she let it fall down. Something in her face, something about that expression told me that she might have not knocked. I couldn't do anything but stare at her. She was so beautiful.

"I-I was just coming to see you", the words left my lips before I could stop them. Damn, you idiot! Why did you tell her? Idiot!

Emily looked surprised."Why?"

"I just don't want to be alone. My dad left a while ago", I realized what an idiot I was. It was almost freezing outside but I didn't even ask her to come inside."You don't need to freeze out there. Want to come in?"

Emily hesitated for a moment before she nodded. I let her in and closed the door behind her. I threw the keys back to the table and took my shoes off.

"Do you want anything to eat? Something to drink?" I asked as I headed to the kitchen.

"I could take some water", she followed me after she had taken her jacket and shoes off.

"So, why did you come here?" I asked as I filled her a glass of water and handed it to her.

"I was just coming to check out were you okay", Em explained and took a sip of her water.

It was silent for a moment. Neither of us really knew what to say. My head was filled with thoughts but my mouth refused to say them. Em looked just as puzzled as me but she looked maybe even more nervous than me. Maybe she had reason to.

"Emily, I think we need to talk", I finally said breaking the silence.

"About what?" she asked raising her eyes to meet mine.

"About everything", I replied but she kept looking at me waiting. I hated the way my voice trembled as I talked but I couldn't really help it. "About the kiss, about what I said..."

Em was obviously surprised about my honesty and straightness. She put the glass on the table and sighed.

"Em, I'm really sorry about lying to you. I really regret saying those things to Mona. That's why I didn't tell you guys. I wanted to just forget what I did. I was so embarrassed", I felt my cheeks redden. My eyes filled with tears but I wiped them off.

"You lied to us, Ali -again. And that thing with Noel", she shook her head slightly, "you can't expect us to just forget that", she continued her voice full of pain. It hurt me to hear that. I had hurt Emily. That was unforgivable.

"I know. And I'm not asking for your forgiveness. I couldn't do that. I don't have any right to do that. I just wanted you to know how sorry I am."

Emily didn't say anything. She just stared at her glass with her arms crossed over her chest. I could swear my heart hasn't raced this hard in a long time.

As the silence continued, I sighed. "Okay, let's put it this way; ask me anything you want and I'll answer ad honestly and truthfully as I can."

"When I kissed you... you kissed back. And earlier you said that my feelings weren't just one-sided", she struggled to get out the words."Did you mean what you said? Do you have feelings for me? "

I let out a deep breath. I knew she would ask that. I raised my eyes to meet hers."Yes, I did before and still do."

There was another moment of silence."Do you?" I finally braced myself to ask.

She seemed like she was hesitating. The silence was just heartbreaking. "I... I don't know", she mumbled.

"Em, it's not that hard", I wanted to know the truth. I had to."You either have feelings for me, or you don't."

"Ali, I-"

I interrupted her waving my hand."No, Emily. I just want to know the truth. Either you tell me it now or you'll maybe never have a chance."

She still kept quiet.

"Damn it, Em! I open my heart, my soul to you and what you give me? Nothing! I almost feel like-"

"I love you, okay?" she shouted interrupting me. The words hit me like a fist."I love you but I just can't admit it to myself."

"Why?" I asked and was surprised about how calm my voice sounded. I wouldn't have been surprised if Emily would've heard my heart beating.

"Because..." her voice was shaky and desperate. She avoided looking at me."If I do then there's no way back. There's no getaway."

I stood up and walked to her. I knelt down in front of her. I took her hands on mine. She slowly turned her gaze at me. I could see all the emotions, all the thoughts in her mind from her eyes. Those beautiful brown eyes I had missed so much while being gone.

"You don't need a getaway", I said leaning closer to her. My stomach felt like it was full of butterflies. I was so close to her I could feel her beath on my skin. I breathed slowly in and out. For a moment I thought that we would kiss. Just before it happened, Em stood up and stumbled farther from me.

"I can't do this", she said with shaky voice. She took her jacket and put her shoes on. She ran out of the door before I could stop her.

I just stood there for a moment, my mouth open, without any sound coming from there, my hand raised up wishing that I could touch her, feel her skin under my touch. I felt empty without her, like a piece of my heart would've been ripped away. Piece that nothing, no one else could fill.

I felt a tear falling down on my cheek. I hadn't even noticed the tears in my eyes before that. I sat on the couch, feeling powerless, empty and lonely. Another teardrop rolled down my cheek and dropped to the ground. I didn't wipe them off. I just let them fall. _What have I done? Why do I always ruin everything? I'm a walking disaster._

I couldn't get up from the couch so I stayed there. Hour after hour I just stared blankly at the window. At some point I fell asleep. I wasn't sure what time it was. But just before I fell asleep there was one crystal clear thought in my mind. One name.

Emily.


	2. If I Lose You

**If I Lose You**

 _You're_ _the_ _reason_ _that_ _I'm_ _alive,_

 _You're_ _what_ _I_ _can't_ _live_ _without_

Ali's POV

I woke up from the couch next morning. Someone had put a blanket over me. My dad had probably come home from work. Since I had come home, he had acted pretty sweetly towards me. I believed that he had really missed me even though it was quite hard for him to show it.

"Dad?" I called. No answer.

I got up from the couch and let the blanket fall off me. I walked lazily to kitchen and glanced at the clock. It was 8.38 am. _God, did I sleep the whole time?_

"Dad?" I called again. There was still no answer.

I walked to the fridge and opened it. Then I saw a piece of paper on the kitchen counter. I closed the fridge and took the paper to my hands.

 _Sweetie,_ _I'm_ _sorry._ _I_ _came_ _home_ _pretty_ _late and_ _you_ _had_ _already_ _fallen_ _asleep._ _I_ _had_ _to_ _go_ _to_ _meet_ _someone._ _There's food in the fridge_ _if_ _you're_ _hungry._ _I_ _will_ _probably_ _be_ _back_ _before_ _you_ _get_ _back_ _from_ _school._ _Be_ _safe._

 _-Dad_

I sighed and threw the paper to the trash can. Suddenly I felt way more cold and lonely than yesterday, if it was even possible. I turned my back to the trash can and walked out of the kitchen. I ran the stairs up to my room. For a moment I doubted about going to school but I realized that if I wouldn't go I would be much easier target to A. And I didn't want anyone to think that I was afraid to come to school. Even if I actually was afraid. Emily was there. And she was angry at me. I hated knowing that but I couldn't help it. I had screwed things up by myself.

I changed my clothes and put on some makeup. About a half an hour later I was ready and started walking to school. There was still plenty of time so there was no need to rush. I mean, I didn't _want_ to rush.

No matter how slow I walked or how far I went around I had to face the fact that I'd still end up at school. Like I said, Emily was there. Hanna was there. All the girls were there. And I had to face them. I couldn't avoid talking to them forever. And I really had to talk to Hanna. I knew that she didn't want to talk to me but I had to. I hadn't apologized her properly yet. I hadn't apologized any of them. But I knew that Hanna was the hardest one to convince that I had changed. _I_ _have_ _to_ _talk_ _to_ _her,_ I thought. _And_ _I_ _have_ _to_ _do_ _it_ _today._

When I got to the school there were only few minutes till my first class would start. I sighed in relief. I thought that I would get to the class without facing the girls. Well, I thought wrong...

"Ali! Wait!" someone called my name from behind me. I recognized the voice. I turned around and saw Spencer running towards me.

"Hey, Spence", I said when she got to me. We started walking together to school.

"So, how're you holding up?" she asked glancing at me.

"Decent", I replied trying not to laugh. Decent? Try a living hell. I sighed deeply.

"What's wrong?" Spencer asked worried.

"What's not?" I scoffed. "A is back in game, the police is breathing on my neck and you guys hate me. I can't find any positive about that."

"We don't hate you, Ali. We just want you to be honest with us. That's the least thing you can do."

"I guess you're right", I admitted shrugging my shoulders.

That was the end of the conversation as the school bell rang sending us to our classes. Spencer had biology and I had English. Our assignment was to read a certain book; Charles Dickens' _Oliver_ _Twist_. It made me think about me and Emily in the library, when I had quoted the book _Great_ _Expectations._ I hadn't realized it then but when I thought about it later I realized that I had read that part for a reason. When she had kissed me... I don't know. Something inside me... just clicked, somehow. Later I denied it but at that moment... It just felt right. Like that's where I belonged. I really, _really_ regretted saying that the kiss was just was practice. I felt something crack inside me every time I just thought about that. I had just been so scared about what people might think. Honestly, I still was.

The teacher walked in interrupting my dreaming. He gave us papers filled with questions about the book. I heard the students around me murmuring and whining about the assignment. I sighed and took my pen and started filling the blank spaces.

When the lunch break started, I was feeling much more relaxed. I hadn't had to talk any of the girls after Spencer. But as I walked to the cafeteria I knew my luck wouldn't last forever. There they were, Spencer sitting next to Hanna. Hanna was probably texting with someone. Aria sat on the opposite side of the table and she and Spencer were talking about something which looked pretty intense. I sat next to Aria.

"Hey", I greeted them and made Hanna glare at me angrily.

Spencer and Aria nodded at me smiling and continued talking. I felt again pretty lonely. It was weird to feel lonely when there were so many talking and laughing people around me.

"Hey guys, where's Em?" I asked as I realized that she wasn't sitting with us.

"She stayed home", I gulped thinking that it was because of me but then Spencer continued sadly, "Her mom had to leave to Texas. Em doesn't know how long she's going to be there."

"Oh no", I gasped feeling sick. My mind filled with concern."So, she's alone at the house?"

Hanna snorted."Why? Planning to go there whine about how sorry you are? How much you love her and want her to be safe", she said with scorn. She leaned closer across the table."You may have got Emily fooled but I'm not an idiot. If you'll try to take an advantage from this situation and tie her tightly around you little pinkie, I swear to you I'm gonna cut that finger so badly your whole arm is gonna fall off."

Hanna got up taking her purse and rushed away. Spencer and Aria stared at me their mouths slightly open. I swallowed thickly. I didn't know what to say. I knew that Hanna was angry at me, but _that_ angry?

"Ali, you okay?" Spencer asked carefully.

I nodded unable to speak.

Aria and Spencer exchanged looks. Aria looked at me."Don't worry. Hanna didn't mean that. She just has a lot-"

I stopped her."No, she did mean it. And she has a right to", I turned to look at them."Look, guys. I would have done this later but I guess Hanna is not gonna let me talk to her in a while."

Spencer furrowed her eyebrows and glanced at Aria who was looking at me waiting.

"I just realized that I never really properly apologized you guys", I started sighing."I'm sorry about all the things I did to you. I was a horrible person back then and I hate myself because of that. I know I can't just ask you to forgive me and forget what I did. But I swear to you, I _have_ changed. I'm not the same person I was three years ago."

I raised my eyes from my hands to them."So, I'm sorry", I looked from Aria to Spencer and back. My heart was bouncing against my chest as I waited what they would say.

Finally, Aria opened her mouth. "You don't have to worry about us. We have forgiven you. I mean, we will probably never forget but we have forgiven. I just hope Hanna will realize to do it too."

"Alison. Tell us everything from now on, okay? You can trust us", Spencer said raising her eyebrows.

I nodded smiling."Of course I will."

I stood up and got ready for my next class. Before I left, Spencer stopped me.

"Just one thing before you go, Ali", she looked like she was trying to think what to say."Be careful with Emily, will you? I don't want to see her get hurt."

"I will", I promised and left to my class.

Emily's POV

 _"If_ _there_ _will_ _be_ _any_ _problems,_ _just_ _tell_ _me."_

"Okay, mom, I will. Nothing will happen, I promise", I rolled my eyes to the phone. Mom still seemed to think that I was three years old.

 _"Okay, then. Just be careful",_ mom said sounding worried.

"I will. Tell dad I said hi", I said and hang up on the phone.

I wandered around the house for a while and tied to figure out something to do. Finally I just gave up and started doing my homework. It was pretty hard to concentrate when all I could think was my parents and Alison. I still tried to figure out was it true that she said about her feelings. Because honestly I found it very hard to believe.

When I almost had my homework done I heard a knock from the door. I ran to the door thinking it was Hanna bringing me more homework. I smiled as I opened the door but the smile faded when I saw who it was.

"Alison? W-what are you doing here?"

Ali rubbed the back of her head nervously."I heard about your mom."

I shook my head slightly."Of course you heard about my mom", I mumbled more to myself than to her.

"What?"

"Nothing. Listen, even if I didn't come to school today doesn't mean that I'm not okay. Because I am", I hated how my voice didn't sound convincing at all. _How can this be so hard?_ I thought bitterly.

"Can I at least come inside?" she asked shyly. She looked like she was shaking.

I hesitated. If I'd let her in, anything could happen. Anything was always possible when Alison was around. She saw my hesitation.

"Look, Em. I'm really sorry about last night. I shouldn't have done that", she said shaking her head."I can go too, if you want."

I took a deep breath and stepped away from her so she could come in. I saw a sight of relief in her face as she walked by me. We went to the living room. We sat apart on the couch. It was pretty dark in the room. There was only one lamp bringing dim light around the room. We were both quiet and just randomly glanced at each other.

"You didn't come to school today. Is it totally because of your parents?" Ali asked breaking the silence. I looked at her quietly.

I thought for a second before answering."No, not really."

"Was it because of me then?" she asked even if she knew what the answer would be. I breathed slowly out.

"Ali, I don't want to do this right now..."

"I know but... I just don't want you to start skipping school because of me. I'm not worth it", she looked truly concerned.

I looked into her blue eyes."Okay, I won't do it anymore."

"Emily", Ali said as I got up. I turned to look at her."I know this sounds stupid and you probably don't believe me but everything I have ever done, I have done it for you."

At the same moment I saw something move on my right side. I was about to turn to look what it was when someone wrapped arms around my neck. I gasped and tried to get away from the person who was holding me. It was too strong and I could hardly even move. Ali had jumped up from the couch and looked at the person behind me terrified. For a moment I thought she was going to run away but instead she took a step closer to us. The grip around my neck tightened and I grunted from the pain.

"Stay where you are or your girl's gonna need lot more than her parent's back", the person behind me said with low, muttering voice. It was definitely a man voice.

Ali raised her hands up as in giving up."Okay, just please don't hurt her."

She was about to cry. I could hear it from her voice. She was looking at something behind me. Not his face. Maybe at his hand. Then I saw our reflection from the window. I couldn't see well but the person was wearing a black hoodie and he was holding something in his hand. The light coming from the lamp made it shine. I knew instantly what it was. He was holding a knife.

"What do you want?" Alison asked her voice shaky. There was no answer but obviously he did something, probably with the knife that made Alison gasp and reach her hand towards us.

"Please, don't do anything to her, please! I'll do anything", she begged and fell on the ground on her knees. She was crying. My eyes were getting blurry and I thought I would lose consciousness in a minute.

I looked at our reflection again. He held the knife very close to my head and brought it closer to me. It nearly touched my face. I could almost feel the coldness of the steel on my skin.

Ali's POV

"No! Don't! Kill me! Not her!" I couldn't stop the words coming out of my mouth. I just couldn't watch anyone threaten Emily. I'd rather have died.

I felt horrible as I watched the steel almost touch Emily's flawless skin. I felt fear I had never felt before. Not fear for myself. Fear for Emily, the girl I loved the most. And as I watched the man moving the knife in his hands threatening I realized one thing. I couldn't live without her. She was the reason that I was alive.

I saw a tear rolling down on Emily's cheek. That was the last straw. I couldn't take it anymore. I stood up and basically jumped towards the black hooded person. He was surprised about my sudden attack and he loosened his grip on Emily. Emily fell on the ground gasping for air and I ran straight into the man. He took a surprised step back but covered fast and pushed me away. I fell on the ground next to Emily. Then I saw light coming from the window. Someone drove to Emily's driveway. The man turned around and ran away. I looked at Emily. She was coughing and holding her chest. Like she would've known I was looking at her, she turned to look at me. There were tears falling down her cheeks. But all I saw was her eyes. Her beautiful brown eyes. That's all I remembered before it all went black.

 **II I want to thank you for reading and for the favorites and the follows. And thank you for the reviews. I just love reading them and they just mean the world to me. I hope you're enjoying the story so far ;) II**


	3. I Feel Your Arms Around Me And I'm Whole

_You never give up,_

 _When I'm falling apart,_

 _Your arms are_ _always_ _open_ _wide_

Emily's POV

She looked peaceful when she slept. She looked sincere… and beautiful. It made me relax, seeing her so calm. She looked totally different from what she had looked like few minutes ago. I raised my hand and brushed her cheek gently. Her skin felt so soft and warm. My hand lingered there for a moment. Then I heard footsteps behind me and pulled it away.

"Has she woken up yet?" Spencer asked and handed me a steaming cup of tea. I shook my head and took the cup in my hand and thanked her. Then I turned to look once again the blonde girl lying next to me. Spencer sat behind me on the couch.

"I still can't believe she did that", I said quietly still looking at Ali. I could've just sat like that and stared at her like that for days. _Was I weird?_

"Me neither", Spencer said quietly bringing me back on earth.

It was quiet for a moment. I could hear the clock ticking. A car drove past the house. I could hear Ali's slow and calm breathing.

"So, you're sure it was a man?" Spencer raised her eyebrows questioning. I looked at her for a second and then closed my eyes slowly. I could see the person in my mind.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure. That voice... it was man's, for sure. And I could swear that figure was a male figure."

Then I heard a low moan beside me. It was Ali. She was finally waking up.

"Ali? Are you all right?" I asked and leaned closer to her. I placed my hand on her cheek.

Ali grunted and opened her eyes slowly."What happened?" she asked looking around her.

"A attacked us", I told her and I couldn't hide the pride in my voice."You stopped him. Don't you remember?" the pride turned into concern. What if Ali hit her head?

Alison sat up and furrowed her eyebrows."Yeah, I remember. Are you okay?"She rubbed the back of her head with her hand which made me think that I had been right when I thought that she had hit her head.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just so worried about you. I'm so glad Spencer came here right on time", I turned to smile at her.

Then Ali saw Spencer sitting behind me."It was your car, right?" Spencer nodded."Well, without you we'd probably be dead right now, so thank you."

"Well, you saved Emily. I guess we're even", Spencer grinned and stood up."I'm gonna head home. My mom called me and said she needed me for something. But if you need me for anything, remember you can call me anytime."

She hugged me tightly and gave Alison smile before leaving us alone.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked again.

Ali looked down on her lap. I saw a tear falling down from her cheek. She raised her gaze at me."No."

She sounded sad. No. She sounded broken. I wrapped my arms around her. She leaned her head against my chest. I knew she was trying to hold down her tears. I ran my fingers through her hair and rubbed her back comforting.

"You can cry, Ali. It's not wrong", I said and kissed her slightly on the forehead. And Ali cried.

...

Ali's POV

"I'm sorry. I don't usually do this", I said as I pulled away from her. I wiped the tears off and sniffed."I'm just scared of what A does next. If he would do something to you, I could never forgive myself."

I felt the tears fill my eyes again."You don't need to apologize. You saved me."

"No, I'm the reason you _were_ in danger! If I wouldn't have came here A wouldn't have been here and this whole thing wouldn't have happened", panic filled my mind as I realized that it was true. I had brought A to Emily. He had realized that using the people I love was the best way to get to me.

I couldn't breathe. I was hyperventilating and shaking recklessly. Emily tied her arms around me again and I was basically lying on her lap.

"Shh, calm down Ali. You're safe now. I won't let A do anything to you", she said fondly caressing my back and running her fingers through my hair.

I still couldn't stop shaking."No, Emily. We're not safe. As long as I'm here none of us is safe."

When I said that, I realized what I had to do. I had to leave Rosewood. That was the only way to keep the others safe. Thought of running away again and leaving Emily behind was terrifying and I felt sick when I just thought about it. But I had to do that. It was the only way. I didn't say anything to Emily. I knew she wouldn't understand. And I knew that if I would have said something to her, it would've been so easy for her change my mind.

I looked at Emily. She smiled at me and cupped her hand on my cheek. I felt thousands of butterflies fly in my stomach. I blushed and my heart skipped a beat as she did that. _God, why was I reacting like this?_ Her hand felt like an electric shock on my skin but in a good way. I couldn't take my eyes off her. I struggled with an urge to kiss her. To press her down and passionately kiss her lips, her neck, whisper her how much I loved her...

I felt my heart beat against my chest pumping blood through my veins. I could hear the blood rush inside me. _Wow,_ I thought mesmerized. _Is this what it feels like to be in love?_

Something inside me told to kiss her. But I couldn't do that because if I did, I probably would've ruined every chance of Emily forgiving me. And if I kissed her, I would have changed my mind about leaving. So I couldn't. I just simply couldn't.

"Ali?" Emily called me whispering. I looked at her again."I'm gonna go to make something to eat. Do you want anything?"

"I'll take anything you take", I said and we both got up. Emily headed to the kitchen and I stayed in the living room. I walked around the room and ran my hand on the backs of the books reading the names. I hadn't heard most of the names but there were some classics which even I knew. _Oliver_ _Twist,_ for example.

"I'm gonna make us sandwiches", Emily called from the kitchen.

"Sounds good", I called back and turned to the bookcase again. There was a picture of five of us. It was probably taken at the Spencer's lake house. We smiled at the camera, our arms on each other's shoulders. Hanna and Aria were on the right, Spencer and Emily on the left. I was in the middle, of course. And even then, surrounded by my friends, I looked like I didn't belong there, like I was an outsider. Or was I just imagining?

I walked to the kitchen. Emily was standing in front of the kitchen counter and washing salad for the sandwiches. I stayed at the doorway.

"I was just thinking", I started clearing my throat."Would you want to sleep at my place tonight? I just thought that you wouldn't want to be alone tonight."

Emily turned to look at me."Well, you're right about that", she said looking thoughtful."Are you sure you're dad would be okay with that?"

"I'm sure he doesn't mind. And I'm pretty sure he has a work to do, anyway. He won't probably even notice."

"I guess it's settled, then", she smiled and continued making our sandwiches. I helped her making them. We had fun. We talked, a lot, but not about anything serious. I didn't remember the last time I had laughed like that. We ate the sandwiches and almost drifted into a food fight.

Emily checked the clock from her phone."It's almost eight. What if we'd go to your place and watch a movie?" she suggested raising her eyebrows questioning.

"Sounds like a plan", I smiled and got up from the kitchen chair to put the dishes in the sink.

Emily went to pack the things she needed. While she was in her room I heard her phone vibrate on the table.

"Em! It's your phone!" I called her.

"I'll be there in a minute!" she called and I couldn't stop myself from smiling. I felt like Emily was finally forgiving me. Maybe someday things would be fine between us again. Then I remembered my plan to get out of Rosewood and my smile faded. Things would never be like this ever again.

I heard footsteps and Emily appeared to the room. She put her schoolbag on the chair and took her phone. She narrowed her eyes as she saw who it was.

"What is it? Please, don't say it's A", I said and glanced at the phone nervously.

"No, no. It's Paige", she sighed.

The name hit me like a fist."Paige? I thought you were done with her", I said and did everything I could to not sound too irritated. That name made me feel sick and I just couldn't help it.

"I am. But I can't just act like she wouldn't exist. She goes to same school with us, Alison. To be honest, she was here when you weren't. I can't just forget her", Emily said putting her phone back to the table.

"Seems like you have forgiven..." I stopped myself from saying Pigskin,"...her, already."

"How can you possibly ask me to forgive you and say that I couldn't forgive her?" Emily turned to leave but I grabbed her hand. She turned around irritated.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. And I'm sorry I wasn't here for you. I'm just worried about you. If Paige would be helping Mona-"

Emily interrupted me."She's not helping her. She helped us. She's on our side."

"No, she's on your side and I totally get that", I corrected her."I wasn't the nicest person to her back then. But if you trust her, then I trust her too. Okay? I'm sorry", I said and let go of her hand.

"Okay, apology excepted", she said and continued with softer voice."Come on. Let's go to your place."

...

Emily's POV

Just when we were getting into my car, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Ali glanced at me sighing.

"Oh, please, do not say it's-" I silenced her with an angry look and took my phone out of my pocket.

"It's Aria", I told her and opened the text.

 _Hey,_ _I_ _heard_ _what h_ _appened_ _with_ _A._ _Are_ _u_ _and_ _Ali_ _OK?_

I texted her back:

 _Yeah,_ _we're_ _fine._ _Ali's_ _pretty s_ _haken_ _but_ _I t_ _hink_ _she_ _can_ _handle_ _that._

Aria answered almost immediately.

 _I'm_ _sorry_ _about_ _your_ _mom. It sucks that you have to be alone._ _I_ _couldn't_ _come today because_ _I_ _had_ _to work_ _at_ _Radley._ _But I'_ _ll_ _come_ _to_ _visit_ _tomorrow._ _Is_ _that_ _okay?_

I hesitated for a moment before answering. I saw Ali staring at me and I glanced at her. She turned her head away and crossed her arms on her chest.

 _I'll_ _stay_ _at_ _Ali's_ _today_ _but_ _I'll_ _probably_ _be_ _at_ _home_ _pretty_ _early_ _tomorrow._ _We_ _could_ _go_ _together_ _to_ _school?_

Aria reacted just the way I was afraid.

 _Whoa, back_ _it_ _up._ _At_ _Ali's?_ _What's_ _going_ _on_ _between_ _you_ _two,_ _btw?_ _You_ _two have beenn_ _pretty close_ _lately_ :I

I sighed and let my hand fall down. I looked at Ali."Let's go."

"What did Aria say?" she asked as we got in the car.

"Nothing much. She said she had to be at Radley today and she will come by tomorrow."

My phone vibrated again. Ali didn't say anything. She just drove off the driveway. I turned back to my phone. Aria demanded for an answer.

 _Nothing,_ _okay?_ _I_ _just_ _don't_ _want_ _to_ _be_ _alone_ _tonight_ _and_ _she_ _offered_ _me_ _a_ _place_ _to_ _sleep._

I tried to calm down my wildly beating heart.

 _Yeah,_ _place_ _to_ _sleep_ _;)._ _Well,_ _I'll_ _see_ _you_ _tomorrow._ _Have_ _fun!_

I sighed and rolled my eyes at the phone.

"What? Is Aria sending you nude pictures of her and Ezra?" Alison grinned.

"When did you become so disgusting? No, Aria just... she's just acting like an idiot."

"How's that?"

"It's nothing. Now, just shut up and drive."

 **Seriously, I couldn't be more grateful of your reviews, follows and everything you do. And please, if there are spelling mistakes or anything you want to tell me about, just send me a message or review.**

 **Thank you ;***


	4. Don't Leave Me

_And_ _you're_ _quick_ _to_ _forgive_ _when_ _I_ _make_ _a_ _mistake,_

 _You_ _love_ _me_ _in_ _a_ _blink_ _of_ _an_ _eye_

Ali's POV

Emily and I were sitting on my bed watching a movie. It was some romantic-drama. Honestly, I didn't really pay much attention to the movie. I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was so beautiful. I couldn't believe I was sitting so close to her. It felt unreal somehow. Yes, we had kissed few times and everything but after everything I just felt like this was a huge thing for me. Just the fact that she had forgive me filled me with joy. And I couldn't believe that this was probably the last time I would see her that close I had decided to leave the same night. When Emily would fall asleep. I knew it was wrong to leave her like that, not saying anything. But that was the only way to keep her safe.

I wanted so badly to touch her. I felt empty without her near me. I mean, even if she was sitting like 30 inches away from me, it wasn't enough. It never would've been enough. I needed to feel her. I needed to know that she was close to me.

There was some sad scene going in the movie. I wasn't sure what it was about. The main characters father died? I really didn't care. I once again turned my face off the screen and looked at Emily. She was crying. My heart melted from that sight. Emily had always been very sensitive and she had always cried during a sad scene in a movie. That thing hadn't changed.

"Em", I whispered and she turned to look at me."Come here."

She crawled closer to me and laid her back against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and she rested her head on my shoulder. We stayed that way till the end of the movie. I actually still didn't watch the movie. I just closed my eyes and enjoyed feeling her so close to me.

"Your heart is beating fast", she whispered suddenly. She sounded like she was half asleep. I opened my eyes slightly. I listened to her steady breathing for a moment.

"That's the way you make me feel", I whispered back thinking that she wouldn't remember when she would wake up.

"Ali..." she mumbled and and turned a little bit on my lap.

"What now, sweetie?"

Emily was quiet for a moment. She just looked straight into my eyes."Thank you", she said finally.

Then it was completely silent. All I could hear was my heart beating and her breathing quietly. I laid there for a moment longer till I was sure she was sleeping. Then I reluctantly moved her off me. I gently put a blanket over her. I quietly crawled off the bed and sneaked to my closet. I took a black sports bag and a smaller, brown bag. I had backed up everything I needed earlier when Emily had been in an other room. Everything was ready. I had talked to Noel and he had unwillingly agreed to take me to Philly. Then I had to figure out the rest by myself.

I had been pretty convinced and confident about my plan but now I started to feel scared. I had to leave everything behind. Probably for good. That included leaving Emily. Thinking about that made my heart ache.

I stopped on in the doorway on my way out. I turned to look at Emily. She was still sleeping, much to my luck. I hoped she was having sweet dreams. I felt a tear rolling down my cheek. I turned away and left her sleeping alone in the room. I sneaked out from the back door. I had told Noel to pick me up from there. He should've been there by then. But he wasn't. _Where_ _the_ _hell_ _is_ _he?_ I thought nervously.

I felt my phone vibrate. It was Noel. I answered the phone.

"Noel, where are you? I told you to wait for me here", I demanded from him.

 _"I'll_ _be a_ _little_ _late._ _I_ _had_ _little_ _problems_ _but_ _I'm_ _on_ _my_ _way._ _Max._ _half_ _an_ _hour",_ he said and I sighed frustrated.

"Hurry up! I need to leave tonight or I'll never get out", I said and hung up on the phone.

That idiot! I should have known that he couldn't be trusted on this. Well, he was coming and that was all that mattered. Now I just had to wait.

"Alison?" a voice behind me said and made me jump. _No,_ _no,_ _no,_ _no,_ _no,_ I thought as I recognized the voice. _This_ _can't_ _be_ _happening_. I gulped and turned to look at Emily. She looked at me, her face full of disbelief.

"You're leaving", she could hardly get out the words.

"I have to", I said my voice shaking."If I stay here, none of us is safe. You're not safe."

Emily's eyes widened in realization."Wait, do you think that what happened today was your fault? Ali-"

I stopped her."It _was_ my fault! If I wouldn't have came to you nothing would have happened."

"How do you know? What if he would've still attacked me, who knows what he would've happened. Anyway, running is not the answer. You can't do that to us again" she said tears running down her face."You know what? Do what ever you want. I'm done with this", she shook her head and turned to go back inside.

"Emily, wait!" I ran to her and she turned to look at me eyebrows furrowed."I know you're upset, okay? I completely understand your point and I want you to try understand mine. I want you to be safe. And it's not possible if I'm here."

Emily bit her lip and closed her eyes leaning her head back."Listen", she said looking back at me,"I don't want you to leave."

I was frustrated."Why? Give me one good reason why I-" Emily didn't let me finish. She pressed her lips against mine. I was too surprised to do anything. She pulled away, just so far that she could see my face. Her brown eyes were glimmering from the tears.

"I don't want you to leave", she said again her voice cracking at the end and then raised her hand on my cheek.

"Then I won't", I said and pulled her back. My mind filled with fireworks as I felt her lips against mine. I kissed her passionately, just like I had always dreamed. I lifted my hands on her hips and she brushed my hair with her hand. It was perfect kiss. I hadn't ever felt anything like it. When we finally pulled apart to catch breath, we were both smiling.

"I should call Noel", I said. Emily nodded, unable to speak. Reluctantly I let go of her and took my phone from my pocket.

...

Emily's POV

I brushed my hair behind my ear and bit my lip. I couldn't believe I had actually did that. I had dreamed of doing that for so long. And it had been perfect.

"Change of plans. I can't go tonight", Alison said to the phone."Yes, and I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you somehow." She listened to Noel for a moment and smiled at me. I smiled back."Okay, fine. Whatevs, dude. Yeah, bye."

She hung up on the phone and looked at me. She smiled and walked to me. She tied her arms around me and pulled me into another, gentle kiss. I felt my heart flutter and I felt like I was floating above the ground. Her lips tasted like strawberries. They were soft, and perfectly fitted to mine. Alison pulled away and looked me into my eyes. I looked back.

"I love you", she whispered and there was no doubt in her voice. There was nothing referring that she hadn't meant it.

"I love you too", I said and pressed a quick kiss on her cheek. Then I took her hand on mine and led her back to the house.

* * *

 **I'm sorry it took so long to update. I've been a little bit busy lately but I'll try to update the next chap on weekend or at least next Friday.  
And once again I have to tell you how much I love you all.  
I love you like Spencer loves the pills ;*  
**


	5. You Matter To Me

_I_ _still_ _can't_ _believe_ _that_ _you're_ _right next_ _to_ _me,  
_ _After_ _all_ _that_ _I've_ _done_

Alison's POV

"I need to talk to Hanna. Today", Emily said taking a deep breath. My eyes fluttered open. We had just woken up and were just lying on the bed me on Emily's embrace. There was a nervous edge to her voice and I didn't like it. If Em was nervous, that made me nervous too and I didn't like it.

"About us?" I asked with sleepy voice. Em rested her head on my shoulder. I loved being so close to her. The warmth of her body and the softness of her skin felt familiar. It made me feel safe. Even with all the shit happening around.

I felt Em moving a little bit under my weight."Yes, about us. Please, don't say you're having second thoughts", she said worried and stopped making circles with her finger on the back of my hand.

"No, of course not", I replied quickly and continued."I'm just worried about what she might say. She hates me. She thinks that I'm trying to take advantage of your situation."

"My situation?"

"Your parents being in Texas, you being alone..." I explained turning to look at her.

"Well, are you?" she asked smirking.

"You know I wouldn't do that", I answered with serious voice.

Em sighed and gave a quick kiss on my cheek."I know."

"We should get up. We can't stay here forever. Even If I wanted to", she said and I reluctantly pulled off her. I already missed her touch. We changed our clothes and went downstairs. My dad was in the kitchen, making breakfast. He didn't see us because we were behind him.

"Hey, dad", I greeted him with a warm smile. He turned around and smiled as he saw us.

"Hi, Mr. DiLaurentis", Em said little nervously. I couldn't help but smile at her nervousness. It was just cute.

"Hey girls. Do you want me to make breakfast for you too? I have to go to work in a minute but I can make something if you want", dad said smiling and taking a sip of his coffee.

"No, dad. You don't need to. Just go to work. We'll be fine. We don't want you to be late."

"Are you sure?" he put the cup on the counter and raised his eyebrows. I nodded.

"Okay, I'll go then. Try to keep the place whole", he smiled and patted me on the shoulder. Then he left to get ready for work.

"Looks like you're doing well with you're dad", Emily said with soft tone. I furrowed my eyebrows thoughtful.

"Yeah. I mean, it's still pretty weird but it's been easier than I thought it would."

"So, what are we going to do today?" Emily asked leaning to the kitchen counter. The light coming from the window made her hair glow. I just stood there for a second admiring her beauty. I could't believe that someone could be so beautiful and such a amazing person at the same time. _I must be the luckiest girl in the whole world,_ I thought in awe.

"Anything you want", I took a step closer to her.

"Really?" she smirked teasing."You'll do _anything_ I want?"

I took another step and I was right in front of her. I raised my eyebrows but she didn't say anything. She just took my hands and pulled me into a kiss. I pressed her against the counter and kissed her back. Our kiss deepened and she touched my lips with her tongue. I parted my lips allowing it to slide inside my mouth. Our tongues danced together.

"Alison! I'll go now!" a voice from the hall called. We jumped apart both panting.

"Sweetie?" my dad called again, and I cleared my throat."Yeah, I'm here. Have a nice day at work."

We stood still till we heard the door close. Em let out a breath she had been holding. Then she grinned at me."What if we continue from where we left?"

I grinned back."Sounds perfect."

We pulled back together. This time, Emily pressing me against the counter. She pressed her body against mine. Her hands moved to my hips and then to my back. She slowly pulled our lips apart and moved them to my neck. I couldn't help the moan escaping from my mouth.

"Alison", she said between the kisses."We..." she continued placing her lips on my lips again."... should stop."

"Yeah, we should", I breathed and kissed her back, letting her tongue into my mouth. We kissed for a second but then Emily pulled away smiling.

"Damn, Em. I was joking", I whined disappointed.

Emily smirked."Well, I wasn't." She moved farther from me."Now, seriously. What do you want to do today?"

"What if we'd go out? You know, watch a movie, go shopping for some clothes ..." I suggested and took her hands on mine.

"You mean, like a date ?" Em raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah. If you just want", I added smiling shyly.

Emily smiled back."Sounds great."

* * *

"No, Ali! I won't eat that", Emily giggled and pushed my hand away.

"Oh, come on, Em", I laughed and offered the spoon to her again."It's just ice cream."

Emily pushed it away again."It looks like baby barf."

"Don't be such a baby", I grinned."Just taste it. I promise you'll like it."

I offered the spoon to her once again and she rolled her eyes. She took it and put it into her mouth. Her eyes widened.

"This is actually pretty good", she chuckled raising her eyebrows.

"I told you. Here", I said and put the cup of ice cream in the middle of the table.

We ate the ice cream chatting about some school stuff. I felt stupid, sitting there, smiling like a fool. But I couldn't help it. She was just so perfect.

"Look, Ali. I had an idea today", Emily said later when were just about to go home."What if we'd have a sleepover with the girls? At my place."

"That sounds great! But do you think the girls are gonna come?" I doubted seeing a picture of Hanna raging at me at school in my mind. She wasn't really happy at me at the moment and I knew Em knew that too. I just wished there was a way to make Hanna believe that I had changed...

"Don't worry abut Hanna. I'll talk to her", Em said like she would have been reading my mind.

"Well, you can talk to her all you want but are you sure she's gonna listen?" I asked putting my shoes on.

"At least I can try", she shrugged and took my hand as I got up."Let's not talk about them anymore."

I nodded and smiled at her. I forgot everything else. There was only me and her. Her hand in my hand. Nothing else mattered.

* * *

Emily's POV

 _In_ _a_ _mood_ _for_ _a_ _sleepover?_ _Aria_ _and_ _Ali_ _are_ _coming._

I sent the text to Spencer and started waiting for her to answer. I tapped the cover of my phone with my nail. I felt nervous for some reason.

 _Well,_ _sounds_ _better_ _than_ _sitting_ _at home_ _with_ _Melissa._ _What_ _about_ _Hanna?_

 _I texted her too_ _but_ _she_ _hasn't answered_ _yet._ _So,_ _you_ _will_ _come?_

 _Yeah, sure._ _So,_ _Ali will be there?_

Spencer sent me another message before I could answer.

 _Could you guys try to keep your hands off each other? I don't want to come watch you guys make_ _out whole night_ ;)

I furrowed my eyebrows. I felt a lump in my throat. I sent her a quick answer.

 _What_ _are_ _you_ _talking_ _about?_

Then I realized. _Damn_ _Aria!_ _What_ _did_ _she_ _say_ _to_ _you?_

 _Don't_ _blame_ _Aria_ _for_ _having_ _hots_ _4_ _Alison_ :)

I felt my face redden. _Okay, the_ _end_ _of_ _discussion._ _We'll_ _see_ _at_ _my_ _place._

I put the phone in my pocket cursing Aria in my mind. I wanted to tell her to stop but what's the point of that? They were right. And we needed to tell them. I didn't know what exactly but they needed to know.

My phone vibrated. I thought it was Spencer, teasing me about Alison. I was wrong. It was Hanna.

 _Okay,_ _I_ _will_ _come._ _But_ _I_ _won't_ _promise_ _to_ _be_ _nice_ _to_ _Ali._

I took a deep breath. I actually hadn't really believed that Hanna would come at all but now that she was coming, I had to get ready to talk to her.

* * *

 **Hello, again my fellow Emisonians! I know it's been rough lately but hang in there.  
The next chapter is the last one and I'll try to publish it asap but school is starting so I don't know when I'll get it done. And btw if anyone is interested, my twitter is EmisonIs4ever32 . I'm planning on writing another Emison story but I need some ideas and if anyone could help me that'd be great. So dm me or send me a private message.**

 **Till the next time!**


	6. I Don't Deserve You

_I don't deserve your love,  
_ _But you give it to me anyway,  
Can't get enough, you're everything I __need_

Emily's POV

"Don't worry, Em. It will go just fine."

I didn't say anything. I couldn't. I felt like the words were stuck in my throat. Seriously, they formed a huge lump in my throat and I couldn't swallow it.

"Em, you're shaking", Ali said and wrapped her arms around me. I was surprised. _Was_ I shaking? I hadn't noticed it before Ali had said it but I really was. _Okay,_ _calm_ _down,_ I told to myself. _It's_ _just_ _Hanna,_ _no_ _need_ _to_ _freak_ _out._

Finally, I relaxed. Mostly thanks to Alison. Her touch calmed me. I glanced at her.

"Thanks", I said quietly.

"For what?" Alison furrowed her eyebrows slightly.

"For being here", I sighed and pressed my head against her chest.

I heard the door open and close. I got up from the couch we were sitting. Alison smiled at me encouraging. Then Hanna walked into the room. She stopped when she saw Ali. She just stood there staring at her for a moment. You could feel the tension between them. You could've cut it with a knife.

"Han?" she turned to look at me."Can we go upstairs so we can talk?" I asked and she nodded indifferently.

"What are we gonna talk about?" Hanna asked as I shut the door.

"Han, would you please listen to me before you say anything?" I begged. Hanna just crossed her arms over her chest. She just raised her other perfectly shaped eyebrows.

"I know you can't trust Ali right now and I understand that. But you need to understand that she's really trying to be a better person." She rolled her eyes and snorted."You think that Ali can't be trusted, that she's lying about everything she says. And who knows if you're right. But I trust her. If it would be Caleb, you would trust him, right?"

"Which brings us back to you two", Hanna said when I stopped."Does comparing you and her to Caleb and me that you're dating or something?"

"No", I stated softly."But I love her and she says she loves me. That's enough for now."

Hanna glared at me for a moment longer but then her face softened."I'm sorry. It might take a while but I can try to forgive her. You know why? Because you're my best friend, Em. I just really want you to be happy."

"Being with Alison makes me happy", I said looking straight into her eyes. Her eyes were studying my face.

"If it's so then I should at least give you a chance."

I pulled her into a tight hug."Thank you, Hanna. That means the world to me."

Hanna hugged me back and when she pulled away she was smiling. At that moment I realized how lucky I was to have her as a friend. We had had our differences but it couldn't break us apart. I hoped nothing could break us apart.

"Let's go downstairs. The others are probably already here", I said and Hanna nodded agreeing.

I was right. Spencer and Aria had already come and they were in the living room talking about something.

"Hi", Spencer said when she saw us. She grinned and Aria smiled.

"Did you tell them?" I asked as we got to them even if I was pretty sure she had. Alison nodded smiling and kissed me softly. I blushed and glanced at the girls. Aria and Spencer tried to act like they didn't notice but their faces revealed them. They were just both holding back the laughter. Hanna looked like she was actually smiling. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

"So, did you pick the movie already?" I asked wrapping my arm around her waist.

"Yeah, we picked a comedy. I don't want to watch anything serious tonight", Spencer answered and showed me the movie.

"Okay, sounds good. Do you guys want something to eat?" I asked raising my eyebrows.

"I can go make us some popcorn. Could you give me a hand, Ali?" Hanna offered and made Ali glance at me frightened. I chuckled quietly. She was so sweet. I gave her half a smile. She smiled back but it looked forced. With that they disappeared in the kitchen.

* * *

Ali's POV

"Could you hand me the bowl?" Hanna asked as she got the popcorn out of the microwave.

I handed her the yellow bowl."Listen, Hanna. I don't know what Emily told you but I just want to say I'm sorry. For everything I've ever done", I said clearing my throat.

Hanna took the bowl from my hand and poured the popcorn in it."You don't have to do this", she said without looking at me.

"I want to do this", I insisted."I never apologized you, Hanna, and I know this might sound cheesy but I will never be able to find peace if I won't do that."

Hanna scoffed but this time benevolently."Yeah, you're right. That really sounds cheesy", she turned to look at me, smiling this time."Thanks, Ali. You make Em happy and these days it's pretty hard to do. But I'm just telling you; if you ever hurt Emily, I swear God as my witness that I will kill you with my bare hands."

I smiled."You do that. You know, I'm actually pretty surprised."

"About what?" Hanna furrowed her eyebrows.

"I thought you'd be more surprised about me... you know... liking Emily", I mumbled awkwardly.

Hanna grinned."Come on, Ali. Your hair is straighter than you."

"I have wavy hair", I said just as I realized what she meant.

"Exactly", she said grinning even more wider. I rolled my eyes.

Hanna took the yellow bowl and handed me another bowl with chips. We went back to the living room where the others had already gotten the movie on and were now sitting on blanket on the floor.

"Why're we sitting on the floor?" I chuckled and Em turned to look at me. She smiled at me and I smiled back.

"No reason", Spencer answered shrugging her shoulders."The Princess can sit on the couch if she wants to."

I sat next to Emily, on the right side. Hanna went to sit next to Aria, on the left side. We watched the movie and laughed. We threw popcorn at each other and tried to catch them with our mouths. All this didn't make any sense to me. I didn't feel like I deserved this. _I don't_ _deserve_ _to be alive._ I looked around the room. _I don't deserve to be forgiven._ I glanced at my friends, laughing next to me. Hanna, Aria, Spencer... They had all forgiven me. Then there was Emily... _I_ _don't_ _deserve_ _to_ _be_ _loved._

Emily turned to look at me like she had known that I was thinking about her. Smiling that beautiful smile that in the first place had made me fall in love with her. She took my hand and squeezed it. I squeezed back and felt my heart melt. I leaned to rest my head on her shoulder. Emily held my hand tightly in her own and suddenly, it all made perfectly sense.

* * *

 **Publishing this today, because school starts tomorrow and because today is PLL day and WE FINALLY FIND OUT WHO A IS!  
** **So excited right now :D Well, have fun and the most important, ship Emison. Just don't give up yet.  
And the last time, thank you for the reviews, follows and everything!  
I love you all! :***


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